“I regret to say I can’t come to the movies”, said Pat, regretfully. “Whazzup?” asked Kelly, questioningly. “Uh…my hair. It’s FUBAR” opined Pat (not knowing what ‘opined’ even means) “Your hair? On your head? All these years….” Kelly fell silent. “All these years what?!” demanded Pat, demandingly. “I thought that was nesting material on your noggin Pat. I truly thought you believed that one fine spring day, the Chickadees you love so much, would nest on your head….

The conductor waited nervously in the wings while he was being introduced to the adoring fans in the audience. This would be the concert that would promote him to maestro of Carnegie Hall, guaranTEED!!! He tittered at the thought. “Those idiots at muzak school thought I’d be the conductor of a village community band forever. NOW look at me!” he thought, wiping his sweaty face with the extra large handkerchief his wife lovingly tucked into his conductor’s pants.