Look 20 years younger WITHOUT spending money or being duped by marketing 💩! Here’s how. Lean in….tell everyone you’re 20 years MORE than you actually are. You will be PUMMELLED with compliments about how great you look. Example for someone who is 42 years old. Pretend you, being 42, are walking outside, and you happen to pass by someone and it is before noon. Here is the probable word exchange that will happen:

“Let me in the bathtub whitchoo guys!” begged Ginger, trying to climb into the tub. “Rarrrr!” roared Danny, the Deinonychus dinosaur. “Aw, come on, there’s room for me too. How come Frankie was allowed in the lovely tub of lavender buds?” sulked Ginger. “RRR!” responded Danny, angrily. Then, the lavender buds poofed up a little, right behind Danny. “Hey boss. Did you just…fart?” asked Ginger. “Raaaaaahhh!” responsed Danny, indignantly, turning slightly red.

“Oh nymmy, oatmeal! Lookit Frankie!” exclaimed Sally the skink to Frankie, the fringed lizard. “Did you know oatmeal’s NOT just for eating?” asked Frankie, getting ready to do some ‘splaining to Sally. “Go on….I’m listening.” said Sally, intrigued. Well, as much as a skink can be intrigued. “It’s great for itchy or rough skin. I read a paper about the mechanism of action and clinical benefits of colloidal oatmeal for dermatologic practice.

“Hi there boss!” said Frankie, the Fringed Lizard. “I’m going down to the stream for a bath, wanna come too?” “RAAAAAAHHHHH!” said Danny the Deinonychus. “Great. I’ve got some soap made with local Water Buffalo tallow made by Skin Goop, in Comox.” “AAARRRRAAAARRRR!” replied Danny. “Oh, the fat was going to be thrown out, but Skin Goop rescued it and rendered it into tallow. They once kept track of all the time they spent on turning the fat into tallow, and it took a total of 30 hours.

“RRRAAAAARRRR!” said Danny the Deinonychus. “What’s that boss? You’re looking for a cream for your skin that is NOT greasy, is made locally AND it feels nice on your skin?” asked Frankie the Fringed Lizard. “RRRRARRR!” responded Danny. “How about this Da Bomb Cream from Skin Goop? They’ve got local, organic Water Buffalo tallow in it. The fat was rescued from being thrown out and it was rendered into tallow.

“Hey boss, what’s happening?” asked Frankie the Frilled Lizard. Sniff, sniff….”Hey, do you smell that?” “RAAAAAAA!” answered Danny the Deinonychus, looking embarrassed. “Oh, sorry boss. That’s coming from YOU isn’t it?” An awkward silence descended between Frankie and Danny. “Say boss, why don’t you try Skin Goop’s deodorant? You can even get REFILLS if you want to re-use a current stick container you have. Reducing waste is GREAT boss, am I right?

“Rar” roared Danny the Deinonychus. “Hey? What’s that boss? You roar that you went and got yourself some Kissy Lips?” asked Frankie, the fringed lizard. “Rar Rar!” added Danny. “Oh yeah. I know they use local, organic Water Buffalo tallow in it. It really makes the lip balm feel GREAT!” said Frankie. “Rar Rarrrrrrr RAR!” said Danny. “I see you got both flavors boss, coffee AND creamsicle. Smart move! Who says your brain ain’t bigger than a walnut, am I right?

“This grocery store staff Christmas party is, like, going to be amaze-balls!” thought Priscilla, smoothing her new dress in front of the mirror. “The cute guy from the produce department is going to, like, flip over my phat new dress!!!” At the partay, Priscilla coyly positioned herself precisely (because her name was Priscilla, and that’s, like, almost like the word precise, so she tended to do things, like, with precision) 1.

Darlene awoke to a strange sound. She poked her slumbering husband. “Dagwood! Dagwood! Wake up!” she whispered. “Heh? Who? Who’s Dagwood?” asked Jerry sleepily. “Errrrr…..” mumbled Darlene. “I think there’s a prowler in the house!” she said, pulling the duvet around her neck. “What are you….?” asked Jerry. “Shhhhh!” hissed Darlene. “Listen!!! It sounds like bolts coming undone….or something….hey, the floor boards….in the bathroom….they’re creaking! Someone’s in the ensuite Jerry!!!!” yelled Darlene diving under the duvet.

“Hey Pat, I’m giving a talk to the local mountaineering group on the weekend.” “That’s great Kelly. I’m happy for you.” said Pat. “That cake you’re icing looks great, by the way”. “Thanks Pat! I’m also doing a hands-on demonstration, can you help me out?” asked Kelly while adding delicate roses to a 5-layered cake under construction. “Ah! You need help carrying in the carabiners and rope?” “Well, no. I want to show the group the dangers of crevices without the danger of going near a real crevice in snow, dig?